Hemp Tycoon

Ugh. I fucking HATE these stupid social games on facebook. They're poorly-encoded flash games that serve no purpose other than pestering your friends (LIKE ME) with shit they don't care about. And by pester, I don't mean they leave it to clutter their feed, what bugs me is when people are more or less coerced to send ME something DIRECTLY about, "Oh, help water my farm!" "Oh, feed my fish!" Probably wouldn't bug me so much if I had a decent computer, but still. It's a slippery slope I'm not willing to take. I don't wish any ill will toward your virtual fish, but if I feed yours, I might want my own, and I'm not sure if my ego could handle that.


That said, Hemp Tycoon is fucking amazing.

Adult Swim Games made it, so you know it's gonna be good. I used to hate ASG because I only like most of their TV programming as mindless enjoyment when nothing else is on that late at night (although that's not to say there's not the occasional gem on air; Moral Orel, ATHF, Metalocalypse, etc.) and I honestly thought that most of their games would be shit pertaining to their shows. Then I read about how they actually HATE that concept. And then I played Robot Unicorn Attack. Oh my god.

ANYWAY, I'm getting off track here. Hemp Tycoon is, while keeping in mind that I've never played much of FarmVille, it's basically just a huge middle finger to the game, so much as I can tell. You plant crops in both games, they're both prone to withering, and they both will get you so addicted you actually think about paying real money for these virtual crops, and then you remember that if you had the money to waste on that you'd be out playing Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked, or Cave Story 3D, or StarFox 3D, or one of the countless other 3DS ports. But then, I'm getting off topic again.

There are two main differences I can tell between Hemp Tycoon and FarmVille, as someone who has never played FarmVille: Where FarmVille is about actually farming crops, Hemp Tycoon is, as the name implies, about growing different variants of marijuana. The other difference is that Hemp Tycoon has a deliciously tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that keeps me playing. One of the actual status updates that got posted on my wall read as such:

"Zachary Bradley just watered a plant in the Facebook game Hemp Tycoon. No, seriously, that's all the information this post has to offer. Zachary Bradley watered a plant."

Several wall posts make sure to mention the fact that you're wasting precious time with your real life by playing some dumb facebook game. I don't know why, but that kind of shit just gets me giddy as all fuck. I love it.

However, the game does come with a few drawbacks. The most noticeable thing is, well, it's a fucking facebook game. If you're like me, you're gonna kick yourself for getting addicted to such a thing. The second thing is, there's still a few glitches to it. The game IS still in beta stages, but then, I'm not so sure games like these ever leave the beta stage. Seems like last I checked, FarmVille was still in beta. However, seemingly-indefinite open beta stage games have proven me wrong before. I have a LOT of friends who love Minecraft.

Another thing I don't much care for is the sound, but then, that's just a personal opinion, and it fits the game quite well. The music is pretty much what you'd expect your typical stoner to listen to, and the whole thing seems to take a lot of influence from the whole marijuana scene. Music fits the scenery really well, and that's a good thing, it's just not my cup of tea. The sound effects fit the game really well too, but since clash with the kind of music I usually have going on, so once I've got the in-game soundtrack muted, I usually just turn that off too.

Whewh. This is probably my longest post here, so I'll cut it short here. Good thing too, my last batch of plants are about to wither.

DREAM

I had just come from the pet store, and I had bought an octopus and a turtle. I was going to buy a floating anta ray, but the one I wanted was electric and I was afraid of it shocking me.

I went back to the car with my two new pets where a few friends of mine from prison were waiting for me. We all decided to go the movies. However, on the way there, I found that the manta had snuck out with me by attaching to my back underneath my shirt and hoodie. I frantically screamed and tore off my hoodie and shirt. I was gonna tug it off, but then I remembered it was electric, and I didn't want to get shocked. The driver finally pulled into a mall parking lot. I got out and the driver went around to grab him off. I begged him not to and tried to tell him that they give an electric shock when threatened, but he did anyway. The manta stayed suctioned to my back as he was given an electric shock, enough to jolt him off of me. It changed color and came off of my back as it chased after him.

I ran to the mall with my shirt and hoodie already back on me, to look for a pet store to tell me what to do, and also because I wasn't sure what turtles and octopi were supposed to eat. When I went inside though, I found that there was a movie theater in the mall. I ran out smiling wide as I told the driver. Our three other friends were glad to hear that we could just run out and have fun today. I took the turtle and octopus out of their pet shop box and set them in the back seat floor board to play together, when I found that the manta had snuck back into the car. I let them all play together as we went out to the mall.

I spat on the parking lot, but in real life I spat all over my face. Disgusted with myself, I frantically got up and ran to the bathroom to clean off my face.

My Phone Sucks

It locks up all the time and it crashes and it's a piece of poop
It's an old Blackberry
I want an Android phone

I shouldn't be complaining considering it was free

BUT IT'S ANNOYING

Childlike

I've been thinking a bit about my brain functions and whatnot, and I feel like I just need to get this out there.

When I was young I got into a rather strong stint of nihilism. I'd read in a science book about how the sun was going to explode in billions of years, and after a while it got me to think about how this would mark the end of everything the human race has ever accomplished, keeping in mind that this was long before I'd considered interplanetary travel to be anything worth putting a serious thought into. This caused me to become a cynical ass from a relatively young age. Really, a 10 year old should have a brighter outlook on life, but anyway.

I basically stopped caring about anything at that point. Looking back, it was pretty damn stupid, and it's still affecting me. I learned some while going through that phase, but as far as my personality and actual life experiences, I just shut myself out.

I suppose that's why I turned out like I am now. I'm rather childlike in my personality sometimes, and in how I view the world. I have trouble thinking about how to live an adult life; for instance, things such as getting a bank account and applying for a job or college just seem so alien to me, and any time I think about how I need to do these things, I just get nervous and all I can think about is how I'm going to screw it up because I don't know shit about how the world works because I'm a moron.

But then I suppose I'm not the only one.

Super Mario 3D Land

Oh man. This game.

This fucking game.

I'm actually really really really enjoying it. It seemed really short but the special stages are making up for it. Also when I first started playing it it just seemed absurdly easy, but the game does have a nice difficulty curve. I'm actually having a little bit of trouble with these later special stages. I'm impressed.

That said, I'm probably still gonna sell it when I'm done. But only if I can find someone to sell it to directly. Not gonna put up with GameStop's trade-in values for this.

Visiting a Friend

So I'm at my friend Tanya's house
I love being here because I actually get to be myself. I don't have to worry about disapproving family.

The gears are turning.

Well, my mind is overactive tonight. Might as well aim some of that mental diarrhea over in this direction.

Christ it's cold. I really, REALLY wish I had a better heater.
My fingers are all stiff and numb. It's making typing pretty hard.
There's not much going online anyway. I would play my 3DS or something, but the cold is affecting my thumbs.
Shitsux.

I'm already finished with Super Mario 3D Land, just going through the special stages now, which are pretty cool. I plan on selling the game when I beat it. Probably gonna ask the same price as GameStop asks for pre-owned games. That way whoever was gonna buy it pays the same amount of money, but I get more. It's a no-lose situation. Except for GameStop, but they're making enough money as it is.

Guh. I really should start drawing again. I've been taking a break since about a week before Christmas, back when my family was winding up for Christmas. And then it went straight from Christmas festivities to New Year festivities. Which makes sense, but it's a pretty long and unwanted haitus. Would probably be more compelled to start it back up if I had a decent computer. This thing's a piece of shit. Really wish I had a job or something so I could get a new one.

And that's another thing. It seems like every time I talk to my family, SOMEONE has to make a big deal about how I don't have a job. And then they act like I'm not even trying. Christ, my great grandmother brings it up every. fucking. time I see her. I have no car, no driver's license, and nowhere in town is hiring. And whenever they are, the position gets filled before I ever catch wind of it. "Oh they're hiring up in Vonore." I ask her how I expect to get there? "Ya got legs ain't ya?" It takes 30 goddamn minutes to DRIVE from here to there, and she EXPECTS ME TO WALK? 20 miles, that's what, 6 hours? It would take HALF MY FUCKING DAY to walk there and back. And for the hours I'd have to work to get any amount at all worth that time, I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO COME HOME. And that's assuming they'd LET me work for that long.

And that's another thing that bugs me. No one tells me shit. It could be anything. It took me 3 fucking weeks before I found out that my sister, who had been living here with me, had already started college. Hell, sometimes my dad neglects to tell me when supper's ready! I suppose it's a side-effect of living in a camper, so far displaced from the main household. Then again, that was his idea to begin with.

I mentioned my sister, and now I'm reminded of how jealous I am of her. I'm gonna sound so... I donno, I guess emo, for saying this, but I'm so tired of hearing about how everyone's so proud of her. Yeah, she went off to college, and that's great, but still, I don't see why she gets to go off to college while I just sit out in this camper WISHING I could do something with myself. But no. Instead I'm just reminded constantly of how wonderful she is and how much of a fucking leech I am. It's all because I get really introverted around Dad, even moreso than usual, mostly because I have this nagging little voice in my head that keeps telling me that some tiny little action is going to remind him that I'm gay, and he'll flip. But not her. She gets the advantage of being straight, which gives her the advantage of being able to talk to our father, which gives her the advantage of saying, "Hey, I'd like to go to college!" Which gives her the advantage of Dad saying, "Anything I can do to help?" Which gives her the advantage of asking for help. Meanwhile, I go in and I can't even find the words to give him advice on a game he's playing without the fear of sounding either fruity or nerdy. So how the fuck am I supposed to tell him I want to get to college?

Blah. I've pretty much exhausted all I care to say at the moment.

TL;DR I'm an emo faggot and the world hates me.

Oh man.

It's snowing.

First snow of the year.


Which is really cool, but now I'm afraid to go outside and get my bootprints all over the pretty snow.
Also this cold is making my fingers stiff.

Why don't I have a better heater??

HMM.

Still have no idea what this blog should be about.
Truth be told, I pretty much made this thing on a whim.

Any ideas?

SUP GAIZ

I made a blog i hope you all will like it