Childlike

I've been thinking a bit about my brain functions and whatnot, and I feel like I just need to get this out there.

When I was young I got into a rather strong stint of nihilism. I'd read in a science book about how the sun was going to explode in billions of years, and after a while it got me to think about how this would mark the end of everything the human race has ever accomplished, keeping in mind that this was long before I'd considered interplanetary travel to be anything worth putting a serious thought into. This caused me to become a cynical ass from a relatively young age. Really, a 10 year old should have a brighter outlook on life, but anyway.

I basically stopped caring about anything at that point. Looking back, it was pretty damn stupid, and it's still affecting me. I learned some while going through that phase, but as far as my personality and actual life experiences, I just shut myself out.

I suppose that's why I turned out like I am now. I'm rather childlike in my personality sometimes, and in how I view the world. I have trouble thinking about how to live an adult life; for instance, things such as getting a bank account and applying for a job or college just seem so alien to me, and any time I think about how I need to do these things, I just get nervous and all I can think about is how I'm going to screw it up because I don't know shit about how the world works because I'm a moron.

But then I suppose I'm not the only one.